Sometimes I feel like if I open my mouth I'll start speaking nonsense, I'll start admitting things that no one should know. I only wish for everyone to know my secrets, for everyone to know all the monsters that tear within my insides, crawling out wishing to escape. Maybe if they knew, they would understand, maybe they would care. Those days, when I feel like I can't contain anything inside me, I sleep. I sleep so I won't say something that most will never fully comprehend. I sleep to escape into thoughtless world where he loves me, where she is still my friend. I wish to scream to the world, out my window, in the parking lot. I wish to scream, "I am here and I am not alone." But some days that is all I fear. I fear of being alone, I fear of never finding someone to stay around and appreciate every ounce of my being, I fear for never finding love, I just wish I could get something right, just once. I just wish I could leave this city and live in a small cabin in the woods with the one I love. No problems, no money issues, no work, just love holding us together like the trees that will surround us.